Pretty Girls Rivers Review – Shallow Sensuality
Title: Pretty Girls Rivers
Developer: Zoo Corporation
Release Date: April 14, 2022
Reviewed On: PS5
Do you like pretty girls? Do you also like rivers? Well, sad to say, the eastasiasoft published Pretty Girls Rivers only has the former. This questionable two-tile matching puzzle game fulfills the bare necessities of what can be considered a puzzler and is quite honestly a difficult sell for any prospectively intrigued party.
Pretty Girls Rivers has literally no narrative to speak of and is instead all about the gameplay, which is quite simple. Players must simply match two matching tiles together…and that’s kind of it. Each puzzle is represented by a girl who gradually adorns revealing outfits the further one progresses. While you have the freedom to choose between which stages and accompanying girls you want your peripheral vision to perceive, that’s the extent of the agency implemented.
The tiles are all rather distinct in presentation, with a few being purposefully similar to potentially catch players off guard. Thankfully, the general stage style differs between the girls, with them placing impeding obstacles in differing manners.
For instance, one stage can divide the array of tiles into 2 separate avenues. However, the gameplay is almost too straightforward regardless, and each stage quickly blends together, leading to a lack of remembrance or impact. Further, they’re never particularly thought-provoking, and the most a player will stumble will likely result from being too leisurely with their time limits. Even the appealing outfits the girls end up wearing do little to inject personality or uniqueness.
In all honesty, finding more to talk about this game is legitimately challenging. The entire experience can be cleared in less than 2 hours, and those seeking an easy-to-obtain Platinum Trophy won’t even have to complete all the stages. It’s a shallow experience that I don’t entirely see the point of. I suppose the reward of seeing lewd outfits can be enough incentive for some, but even then, the apparel is overtly safe. At the very least, one can peruse these outfits in greater detail via the Dressing Room.
The one strength this title possesses is replayability since, with the brief game length, earning high scores is the apparent intention. However, the lack of in-game incentive and reward for achieving those high scores makes the prospect difficult to recommend.
The best way I can positively describe my time with this title is that it proved to be a decent enough 2-hour time sink when listening to video essays in the background. Still, some of the stage tracks are lightly addictive, providing perhaps overlooked neat bits of composition.
Pretty Girls Rivers is a game I only recommend to those seeking an easy Platinum and nothing else. While it doesn’t do anything outright wrong or faulty, its minimum providence of gameplay and stage variety make this an ultimately dull, unmemorable, and questionable experience. The gameplay being barebones isn’t an inherent detractor, but nothing inventive is done with its mechanics or layouts for the stages to feel remotely rewarding.
There are more intricate and enjoyable fanservice games out there, like the Neptunia and Senran Kagura franchises. Pretty Girls Rivers is occasionally enjoyable to look at and listen to, but that’s about it, and you can tell I’m just spamming filler words at this point to reach a word requirement.
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